Things that are “ANNOYING” to a busy 8-year-old boy:

• Mom’s No-Fart-Jokes-at-the-Dinner-Table rule
• Double-knotted laces when I’m trying to rip off my shoes without untying them
• Spelling rules
• Spelling tests
• Stupid pencils with no stupid erasers when I have to study for stupid spelling tests
• Big sisters who think they know everything about mythology when really only I do
• Little brothers who copy everything
• When mom says he copies just because he wants to be like me
• Sitting down to eat
• Forks
• Spoons
• Napkins
• When the coolest part of the creek has stagnant water that freaks Mom out
• Learning a new video game
• Turning off a video game when I just learned how to play it LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO
• Playing chase (or anything!) with girls who make up too many rules
• Cleaning up my awesome Lego stuff on vacuum day
• When superheroes get all mushy
• Showering
• Re-showering when I forget to wash my stinky parts
• Toothbrushes and flossers that are supposed to make me like brushing and flossing
• Socks
• Alarm clocks
• Having to hear the “Family Plan for the Day”
• Anything that’s not awesome

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If you liked this, check out Next Lesson: What is lame?


  1. I would like to never again make a “family plan for the day”. Probably because ours includes way too many jokes about farting.

  2. This is now the third time I have read this post. My oldest is only 5, so we’re still at the “boring” or “not cool” phase, but it still gives me an immense sense of calm to know that these proclamations are just part of the path of childhood. Also, they make me laugh :) Anyway. Thank you for this post — and many others. It’s always nice to know — especially in a week of preschool time-outs and defiance — that it’s all somewhat … normal!

  3. What is UP with having to sit down and eat?!?! My son is like a man cub, he’d rather stand and put one knee on the chair then sit and calmly eat.
    Also feel your pain on the nofartingatthedinnertable rule and the showering.

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