If summer were one long road trip, we would have now reached the point when the kids start singing 999 Bottles of Beer on the Wall and I consider if we have enough bungie cords to hold them on the roof for at least a few minutes. It’s really just too hot for us to be in the car all together, you know?
Plenty of parents reach this point and hit the wall. They frantically start calling day camps in search of anything, anything new and fresh to entertain the troops. (Remember how you always wanted to learn more about sheep farming?)
They bribe babysitters to come home early from their exotic vacations. (Seriously, how much Europe can a 20-year-old really appreciate?)
Others join the exodus to higher ground in search of cooler weather, all the while praying that higher altitude means less oxygen, which means less insanity.
As the temperature rises and the calendar stands suspiciously still, others watch their convictions warp and melt like a CD left on the dashboard during a blistering afternoon. I am vulnerable to all these coping strategies, but this week I let my standards take the hit.
As a result, we have ruined countless meals with emergency snow cones. We have skipped the library and hit the bookstore because they have better air conditioning. We have watched a ridiculous amount of TV. We have purchased overpriced “indoor” toy weapons even though I banned these months ago. We have even considered amending the family rule that dictates No Naked Butts on the Couch because honestly, how can you argue when told it is too hot for underwear?
We are hanging in there. We will make our escape soon enough. Higher ground awaits! But for now, we are simply diving in, holding our breath and trying to keep our cool.