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Boys Allowed

08 // 19 // 14

comments // 7

After last week’s piece about my daughter’s book club, I received numerous “What about the boys??” questions. Good questions with simple answers…

My 5-year-old is too young for a book club. When he thinks of reading it is all about snuggling and hearing a great story. This summer he has been devouring the Magic Treehouse series. Which means Hubs and I are “devouring” these stories right along with him. For the third time. (Will Jack and Annie make it back to the treehouse in time?? Let’s find out! Really great stories, but yeah…third time, my friends.)

My 10-year-old son, a definite bookworm, is simply not interested in a book club. In fact, sitting down with a dozen buddies and talking about books just might fall into the Worst Idea Ever category. Even though he loves books and buddies. Just not his thing.

However…the great mother-child conversations that have grown out of my daughter’s book club are pretty special, so of course I want to experience something like that with my boys. The connection is still the goal, but my approach is very different. Like so many things boy-related, my approach is deceptively casual and super stealthy.

We started by reading to him for years, even past the time he could handle a hefty book. Our favorites were always the books like Harry Potter and Peter and the Starcatchers, which combine adventure, suspense and (this is key!) humor.

I now try to keep up with what he’s reading so I have at least a working knowledge of what he’s enjoying. We go to the library regularly. We spend a small fortune at our favorite bookstore. We he finishes a book and stares at his bookshelf like an open fridge proclaiming he has NOTHING TO READ, I do some research and find a list of books to try. (As I mentioned in the other post: great resources include librarians, bookstores, online reading groups. Google is your BFF here.)

When he does find that cool/awesome/epic book, I ask questions. But only (and this is key too) only when we are doing something else like riding bikes or walking the dog, or shooting hoops in the driveway. If he’s doing something else, it doesn’t feel like homework…it feels like a casual conversation. And before we know it, he is relaying the cryptic plot of his latest Sci-Fi novel. Sometimes I have no idea what he’s talking about. But he’s talking! And he’s so excited! And if I get lucky, I eventually catch on to a few basic details so I can ask relevant questions.

Sometimes I know the book well, and the conversation turns to wonderfully familiar ground. We fall back on inside jokes. He quizzes me on what kind of demigod I would be and why. He asks me for the thousandth time to name my favorite Harry Potter character. We agree that no matter your favorite character, we all pretty much want to be part of the Weasley clan.

And without even knowing it, without trying too too hard…we’ve suddenly had a really great, genuine mother-son moment. Very stealthy. Mrs. Weasley would be proud.

* * *

Just as I did with my daughter’s book club post, I’ve included some book ideas for boys. Some of the titles overlap, which is no surprise. Of course there’s no such thing as Boy Books and Girl Books…but the following titles have been particularly popular with my son during his early elementary years.

1st/2nd Grade
Dragonslayer’s Academy by Kate McMullan
Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney
Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce
Magic Tree House (series) by Mary Pope Osborne
Encyclopedia Brown by Donald J. Sobol
Geronimo Stilton (series) by Geronimo Stilton
Origami Yoda (series) by Tom Angleberger
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Harry Potter (series) by J.K. Rowling
Amulet (series) by Kazu Kibuishi
Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke
The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
Guardians of Ga’hoole (series) by Kathryn Lasky
Anything by Road Dahl

3rd/4th Grade
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Holes by Louis Sachar
The Mysterious Benedict Society (series) by Trenton Lee Stewart
Savvy by Ingrid Law
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson (honestly, just go ahead and buy the boxed set because they will read them over and over again for years.)
The Wonderful O by James Thurber
Regarding the Fountain by Kate Klise
Peter and the Starcatchers (series) by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
Platypus Police Squad by Jarrett J. Krosoczka
Wonder by R.J. Palacio
Love from your friend, Hannah by Mindy Warshaw Skolsky
The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
Wildwood by Colin Meloy
A Series of Unfortunate Events (series) by Lemony Snicket
Hoot by Carl Hiaasen
Flora and Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo
Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper
Anything by Rick Riordan

Must-Have Reference Books for Boys
Defending Your Castle by William Gurstelle
Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden
The Boys’ Book: How to Be the Best at Everything by Dominique Enright
Unbored: The Essential Field Guide to Serious Fun by Elizabeth Foy Larsen, Joshua Glenn, Heather Kasunick and Mister Reusch

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The Club pt. 2

08 // 15 // 14

comments // 4

A few months ago I wrote about the book club I share with my 11-year-old daughter and the countless gifts it has given back to both of us. The club keeps my daughter connected to friends who share her passion for stories, and it keeps me connected to my child and a wonderful group of tweens.

Since the essay ran, I was thrilled to see The Huffington Post pick up the story and even more flattered to receive emails from readers looking for suggestions on starting a club of their own. I’m happy to share what we have learned! Just as with any endeavor, there are a million ways to organize it, but the following path has worked for our club.

STARTING OUT
Enlist a few leaders. We have three Book Moms who are the primary organizers. We rotate houses each month and share responsibilities for reading the books, planning discussion questions and bringing snacks. We also pick the books (more to come on that). Even though we welcome any of the moms to join us at meetings, typically it’s just the three of us. I’ve heard of other book clubs that are true mother-daughter activities (with every mom and daughter attending together), but our goal from the beginning was to focus on the girls and their relationships. As a result, it’s the girls’ book club, but we three leaders happen to reap some pretty great mother-daughter rewards with our own girls. We also decided that a full mother-daughter club would change the vibe significantly. It would be easy for the meeting to turn into a social hour with so many adult friends. We also know that some of our girls specifically request that their moms do not crash book club. It’s their club, thankyouverymuch.

As for the club size, we try to keep the group no larger than about 12 girls. Any more and it gets unwieldy.

Our group began when the girls were in 2nd grade. I love that we started so early because it gave them a common thread of friends throughout their years at our large elementary school. At this age, you typically have a wide variety of readers (reading levels, stamina, attention span.) To address that, we picked two books a month: one easy and one challenge book. Everyone read at least one book; some read both. By 4th grade, we cut back to reading only one (longer) book each month.

Every August we set up the schedule and then meet monthly from September to May, usually making the December and May meetings half meeting and half party.

PICKING BOOKS
The first year we asked the girls to vote each month on a new book, but we quickly found it hard for families to plan on such short notice. Now the three Book Moms decide the list for the entire year so families have time to borrow/buy the books and the girls have time to finish them.

We get our books ideas from all over: We take suggestions from the girls, poll our favorite librarians and booksellers, look at the Texas Bluebonnet Award list (an annual list of recommended books for Texas grade schoolers), scroll through Amazon and see what comes up as “related books,” browse sites like Goodreads, and visit Facebook groups devoted to reading recommendations.

We are fortunate that the moms in our club are wonderful and trusting of our book decisions. It helps that we are all friends, so there is a certain ease when talking about which books are appropriate for the club. So far this hasn’t been an issue, but as our girls enter middle school we know that the books will only get more mature and complex. For now, we have kept the controversial books out of the mix. (For example, we didn’t read The Hunger Games or the Divergent series for the club, although many of the girls read them on their own. Now some girls are stretching into true YA territory with books like The Fault in Our Stars, and we need to adapt our approach accordingly.)

STRUCTURING MEETINGS
Usually all the Book Moms read the book, but the host is the one who also prepares the discussion questions. The discussion questions don’t need to be highbrow, academic efforts. In general, you can’t go wrong with: What did you like/dislike, what did you learn, what did you relate to? And this site is a great place to start for questions that fit almost any novel.

I also love to ask questions that tie back to the author. Questions that help the girls think like writers. What questions do you have for the author? Why did the author write it this way? What did the writer have to research before writing this book?

As a mother, you may need to learn to bite your tongue during some of the discussions. Of course the girls get off track, sometimes have lame answers, or maybe don’t get excited about a book. Follow their lead…Some books encourage lively conversation and some are a total bust. Don’t be afraid to say, “Wow, nobody LOVED this book. Why is that? How does it compare to others you loved? What would you have done differently if you were the author?

Our goal is to keep the vibe upbeat and casual, but still focused. This translates into a 90-minute meeting on a Sunday afternoon, with 30 minutes of book discussion and an hour of snack and backyard play.

We don’t keep a log or notes during the meetings, but at the end of the year we take a poll to ask which books they liked best and why.

At the close of every meeting we leave time for the girls to recommend any other books they are reading. This has turned into a favorite part of the meeting because the girls, avid readers every one of them, share books they adore. They gush. They try to summarize without spoiling. They draw comparisons to other books and try to wow the other girls with their descriptions. Basically they have time to geek out about something they really love. Can you ask for anything better in a club?

* * *

If your daughter is in a book club now, or you start one with her, I would love to hear from you! What works for y’all? What books have you loved? Share any and all of it here!

P.S. Since writing this post, I added a boy-specific list here. Enjoy!

BOOK SUGGESTIONS
As an inspiration or jumping off point, I’ve included our club’s reading list from the past four years. Happy reading!

2nd Grade
At this age, the girls read two books a month (one easy, one challenge book). Sometimes the parents read the challenge books to the girls.

Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
Fudge-a-Mania by Judy Bloom
Judy Moody (series) Megan McDonald
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate Di Camillo
Happy New Year’s Mallory by Laurie B. Friedman
The Seven Wonders of Sassafras Springs by Betty G. Birney
Matilda by Roald Dahl
Ordinary Princess by M.M. Kaye
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (series) by Jeff Kinney
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
Little House on the Prairie (series) by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume
Mary Poppins by P. L. Travers
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
Ramona (series) by Beverly Cleary
The Magic Treehouse (series) by Mary Pope Osborne

3rd Grade
Again, we paired shorter books with longer books. Several of these books were on their school Bluebonnet list so they wanted to read them to earn the award.

The View from Saturday by E.L. Koningsburg
Christopher Mouse by William Wise
11 Birthdays by Wendy Mass
Wild Times at the Bed and Biscuit by Joan Carris
Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
Smarter Than Squirrels (Down Girl and Sit) by Lucy Nolan and Mike Reed
The Watsons Go to Birmingham by Christopher Curtis
The Book Store Mouse by Peggy Christian
Project Mulberry by Linda Sue Park
Squirrels World by Lisa Moser
Bella at Midnight by Diane Stanley
Mirror Mirror: A Book of Reversible Verse by Marilyn Singer
Love From Your Friend, Hannah by Mindy Warshaw Skolsky
The Case of Mistaken Identity by Mac Barnett

4th Grade
Small Persons with Wings by Ellen Booraem
Escape Under the Forever Sky by Eve Yohalem
Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos by R.L. LaFevers
The Cheshire Cheese Cat: A Dickens of a Tale by Carmen Agra Deedy
The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Cornelia and the Audacious Escapades of the Somerset Sisters by Lesley M.M. Blume

5th Grade
The Rising Star of Rusty Nail by Lesley M.M. Blume
Every Soul a Star by Wendy Mass
Wildwood by Colin Meloy
Red Thread Sisters by Carol Peacock
Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
Carly Keene, Literary Detective: Braving the Brontes by Katherine Rue
The Egypt Game by Zilpha Snyder
The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell by Chris Colfer

Other 4th/5th Grade suggestions from the girls (so many good books, so little time)
Chains (Seeds of America) by Laurie Anderson
Holes by Louis Sachar
The Velvet Room by Zilpha Snyder
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Peterson
Regarding the Fountain by Kate Klise
Cold Cereal by Adam Rex
Esperanza Rising by Pam Munoz Ryan
The Homework Machine by Dan Gutman
Someone Named Eva by Joan M. Wolf
The Changeling by Jenkins and Fabry
Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
Ralph S. Mouse by Beverly Cleary
The Grace Mysteries by Lady Grace Cavendish
Moon Over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool
The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
Because of Mr. Terupt by Rob Buyea
Penny from Heaven by Jennifer L. Holm

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Summer Snapshot pt. 1

07 // 15 // 14

comments // 0

It’s now half-way through summer and we’ve hit triple digits here in Austin. I don’t even have to look at the thermometer to know for sure, because the clearest sign is that every little thing my family is doing has started to irritate me. Beginning with swiping my stuff every time I turn around. Which is how this came to be…

And then I realized that even though I’m always happier in the sunshine, I’ve been finding more and more reasons to stay indoors. Like when this 3-hour reorganizing emergency happened…

I know, I know….PUT THE LABEL MAKER DOWN AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY.

In between the obsessive-compulsiveness, we are tossing in some traditional summertime fun.

Like this…

And this…

Lots of this…

And when I’m lucky, some of this…

But as we know, all play and no work makes for a boring household so I’m also trying to earn the Meanest Mom Ever badge. Exhibit A: insisting that my new 10-year-old finish his birthday thank-you notes while waiting at a doctor’s appointment.

All in all, it’s shaping up to be a great second half of summer. Starting tomorrow we are escaping the heat, heading to the mountains, and leaving the label maker and To-Do lists at home. I’m bringing the camera, of course, so follow me on Instagram and just dare me to come back home from paradise.

* * *

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Battle cry

07 // 01 // 14

comments // 10

Four weeks into the summer and this is what my kids are fighting about:

He stole that one awesome LEGO piece that only came in that one awesome set.

She never has to shower first.

He’s touching me!

Why won’t he let me hug him?

He said he hates broccoli the most but only I do.

He’s copying me!

She’s ignoring me!

It’s my turn to be It.

I always have to be It.

She harvested ALL of my Family Barn wheat and it takes 24 hours to regenerate.

He moved my pencil.

She sat in my chair.

He never walks the dog as often as I do.

He didn’t let me find the farting cow on Pictureka.

He threw my favorite torpedo in the deep end.

She always guesses the trivia questions before me.

He smooshed all the silly putty into one big pile and now we can’t tell whose is whose.

He keeps unplugging my Kindle from his charger.

She keeps using my Kindle charger and it’s not my fault she lost hers.

He called me a brat.

She keeps calling it indigo but it’s really blue.

He’s humming.

She’s smacking.

He’s clapping.

He never gets in trouble.

She always gets her way.

They always, always think they’re right.

# # #

Want more? You might enjoy this one or this one about sibling revelry.

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Rubble

06 // 26 // 14

comments // 10

This week I’m reaching for my own words and coming up empty-handed.

Five days ago a friend’s life was devastated in a split second and the only words I can muster are…”no words.”

So I’ve been relying on this beautiful piece of wisdom I found. I bet I’ve read it dozens of times over the last few days…

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
–Louise Erdich, The Painted Drum

The night my 11-year-old heard the news, she curled up beside me and cried for her heartbroken friend. Trying to wrap her head around such a senseless tragedy, she said, “You always think it happens to someone else, but we are all ‘someone else’ to somebody.”

Of course she’s right. And once again, I had no words.

And then today I stumbled on this photo I took a while back. It was shot in a quick moment that caught my attention but was quickly forgotten. The image doesn’t entirely fill in the words that I’m lacking, but it does remind me of the incredible, countless people helping our friend through this nightmare. It reminds me that maybe I have a few words after all: Even in the midst of tremendous loss and heartache, there is still love to be found among the rubble.

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Dismantling

06 // 17 // 14

comments // 9

The thing about building something up is that sometimes you first have to knock it down, to make space for all the growth.

At least that’s the mantra I keep repeating every time I drive by my house. Or more specifically, by the remains of my house. Because here’s what it looked like 3 weeks ago…

And here’s what it looked like a week later…

Neighbors and friends keep texting to say, “OMG, I knew you were remodeling but I didn’t know you were doing THIS!” The truth is, neither did I. Sure, it’s all in the architectural plans and there’s even a page or two dedicated to something called “demolition” but my mind has not been on the dismantling part–it’s been all about the end product. Eye on the prize! The after picture is so much prettier than the awkward, in-between phase. In construction and, of course, in life.

But change is all about the transition and our family is knee-deep in it right now. In our living conditions and elsewhere. Two kids are making obvious leaps…from elementary to middle school and from preschool to kindergarten, but it’s also becoming a season of smaller, more subtle changes in all five of us. Shifts in maturity, in confidence, in perseverance, in patience.

In general I’m a nostalgic type, but I have no room for it right now. This season of transition is one of moving forward. The kids are ready for new adventures. I’m ready for more challenges. We are all ready for a little more space and some room to grow.

So instead of nostalgia, I’m mostly standing back in awe as the house gets taller and wider. I’m watching the upstairs comes alive and the downstairs transform. I’m hoping to hang on to this awe when it comes to all the changes happening right now.

After all, my family doesn’t need me pining for the old when the new is so promising…

* * *

Speaking of new stuff: I’m happy to share that my photo artwork is now featured on Great.ly.
If you’re a maker/tastemaker/shopper, please check it out and follow!

As always, my full collection is found at ewmcguirephoto.com. Email me with any questions or special requests.
I’m always on the lookout for new projects!

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Yes!

05 // 27 // 14

comments // 0

I think I’ve found my new motto…

If you want a piece of this roadside wisdom in your own home, check this out! I’m selling this photo, and several others from my Word on the Street series, as sleek, modern artwork. The images are printed on highly durable, scratch-resistant sheets of aluminum that are glossy, vibrant and incredibly sharp. It’s a seriously cool look. Also worth noting: the final artwork does not include my watermark on the front.

As always, thanks for your enthusiasm and support. Email me with any questions!

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A day in the life

05 // 14 // 14

comments // 0

Does today feel like an ordinary day? Not worth pulling out the camera? Ordinary, maybe. Not worth photographing?
Pshaw! I respectfully call bullshit.

In fact, in 10 years I bet you will want to remember pieces of this very average day, no matter how routine the hours seem. I can help you remember. And I can help you see the magic in the everyday. If you follow me here, or on my photography site, or on Instagram, you’ve seen samples of my work photographing my own family…but I’m also available to come into your home and capture the spirit of your family.

I’m now booking a limited number of sessions for the summer months, and I would love to photograph your family as you go about your amazing, ordinary life. Here are just a few samples from happy clients.

And here’s what some of those clients said afterward…

“Working with Liz is so easy. She blended into our our household and never made the kids feel as though they were being forced to sit through a photo shoot. As a result, Liz captured our lifestyle and the personalities of our children perfectly on film. Not only were the pictures innovative, they were a beautiful documentation of a special time in our children’s lives.”

“Our family has had the wonderful opportunity to work with Liz for multiple sessions and each time I am blown away with her photographs. I am brought to tears the way she is able to capture each child’s distinct personality. Liz has a gift of engaging in the moment and providing photos that represent a genuine and memorable moment.”

I would love to photograph your family or tribe! Local (Austin) sessions start at $500 and include high-res digital files of your edited images. I’m also available for travel gigs and other projects. Email me for full details. ewmcguire@me.com.

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Show Your Work: Possessions

05 // 06 // 14

comments // 8

I’m trying something new that’s inspired by a writer/artist whose work I admire. Austin Kleon is the author of Steal Like an Artist and Show Your Work, both simple and genius manifestos for the creative life. I keep his books on my desk the same way some people keep their therapists on speed dial. I find his words both inspiring and grounding.

In his latest book he advocates showing some of your work in progress, as opposed to fully formed, as a way to boost creativity, move past mental blocks and ultimately get your work Out There. By bringing people along for the ride, you and your audience will both see your work in a new light.

The idea of posting my incomplete thoughts doesn’t necessarily come naturally to me, but I’m giving it a whirl. I’m giving lots of things a whirl lately, because it seems to be that kind of year for me (Did I mention I humbled myself enough to aquajog?? I digress.)

So I’m embracing this idea and will periodically highlight miscellany that’s on my mind or projects on my horizon. Incomplete but still interesting. We will see where they take us!

Lately I’ve been thinking about stuff. As in, possessions.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, we recently moved into a small rental so we can remodel our house. The move required extensive purging and methodical packing. The goal was to pare things down as much as possible, store most of our belongings, and live for 6 months or so with only the basics. Now, I realize that “basics” is a relative term and we all have our threshold for needs and wants and everything in between.

For us, that meant ALL the Legos stayed, because nobody could decide how to divvy them up. Almost all the books were stored, knowing that between the library and the bookstore, stories would keep coming into our lives. Bulky things like the large Kitchenaid mixer were happily stored, and have already given me an excuse to avoid baking things from scratch. We packed half our dishes, every single vase or decorative item, and most everything that was hanging on a wall.

I have long subscribed to the philosophy of only keeping “what you use or what you love” so our home was already pretty lean. Now it’s anorexic. Part of me finds it liberating to live with only the basics, but it’s strange not to be surrounded by at least a few material things I love. Of course, we’ve got our people and our pet so life is good…our home just feels different right now.

Last week I ran across this video by filmmaker Gemma Green-Hope, who created a short film after her family sorted through her grandmother’s belongings. It’s a lovely tribute. My favorite quote is, “I wanted to show her to myself.”

That video got me thinking about the things my mother left behind when she passed away three years ago after a long illness. She had battled multiple sclerosis for nearly 30 years and had spent the last 10 years of her life supported by a ventilator. The “basics” in her life are relative too. My mom’s life was extremely simplified the last few years, but required unfathomable amounts of medicine and complex supplies to keep her comfortable.

A couple months after her death, I helped my father clean out her closet, which in some ways seemed frozen in time from when she was first diagnosed. I wrote about it at the time, but until yesterday I had not re-read that piece in years. Of course it brought back a flood of emotions…just in time for Mother’s Day. It’s amazing how your own words can come back and catch you off guard. I lived and breathed that experience, but still it seems like another me altogether.

During the clean-out, I also photographed some of the little things I uncovered in my mother’s drawers. There were no big surprises…only small moments of nostalgia or grieving. There were a few questions that would never be answered: Why did she save this but not that? Why was this recipe tucked in with her jewelry? There were also some heartbreaking juxtapositions. I had been in her closet hundreds of time and grown numb to all the medical supplies that filled her shelves. But seeing them through the camera lens changed everything. Suddenly I saw not just the life-sustaining tubes, but the neighboring sweaters that she hadn’t worn in 10 years because she hadn’t left her bed, much less her house, in all that time.

By now I’ve sorted through her treasures and kept a few things that mean something to me. When our house is finished, I will unpack them once again and find a new home for them. The photos…I don’t know what I’ll do with them. But I’m sharing a few of them here. Showing you what’s on my mind. Seeing where it takes me.

Thanks for seeing with me.

* * *

Thanks to everyone who entered last week’s giveaway. The winner of the Moms Are Nuts book is NaDell. Enjoy!

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The club

04 // 30 // 14

comments // 27

When I originally offered to help with my daughter’s first book club, it was as a simple show of support for my 7-year-old bookworm. Flash forward 4 years and nearly 50 books later, the club has become one of the most valuable volunteer gigs of my parenting career.

Our group was started in 2nd grade by a friend whose daughter devours books as quickly as mine. We had 15 or so girls, a wide range of reading levels, and an abundance of little-girl energy. We experimented with a few formats and settled on a simple model that continues today: Monthly meetings last 90 minutes and include, in this order, book talk, snacks and outside play. Over the years, as the basic model holds steady, our discussions keep growing and changing along with the maturing girls.

In 2nd grade we read classics like The Secret Garden and Matilda alongside Judy Moody and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Third grade introduced us to authors Wendy Mass and E.L. Koningsburg. By 4th grade, the girls were eager for more complex, coming-of-age stories and we found those in books such as Escape Under the Forever Sky and Cornelia and the Audacious Escapades of the Somerset Sisters. The Book Moms got to vote too, and because we had all grown up with Judy Blumes on our nightstands, we insisted on Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret. That book led to our longest and liveliest meeting to date. We started by encouraging the girls to get all their giggles out (Because c’mon “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” is still hilarious.) By the time we all finished talking we had covered friendship dynamics, religion and the tricky business of growing up.

This year, the 5th graders read hefty and adventurous novels like Wildwood and books by repeat authors so we could compare and contrast the stories. Through the magic of old-fashioned networking, we paired up with In This Together, a girl-focused publisher, and were given advance copies of a book, plus the chance to skype with its author. Katherine Rue, author of the new Carly Keene Literary Detective series, spent 30 minutes with us discussing her mystery book, and it was as if we had a rockstar in our midst. During the author Q & A, my favorite question came from an astute 10-year-old: “Is Carly Keene a nod to Caroline Keene, author of Nancy Drew?” These smart girls don’t miss a thing.

Over the years, we’ve tried to teach them how to fairly discuss a literary work, and how to appreciate a story’s features even if you didn’t adore the whole book. But our main goal has always been much simpler: to give them a safe space to talk about books. No multiple choice questions, no right or wrong answers, no grades. The other moms and I have become pros at the Curious Nod and the Noncommittal Hmmm. “Good point! Why do you think the author wrote it that way?”

Though our membership has shifted a little over the four years, the consistency of the group has been a solid thread throughout their elementary school years, which I now realize was so critical and grounding considering the size of our large public school. And if I ever doubt whether the girls enjoy book club, I will remember this: When the 5th graders were assigned in class to write their own obituary, one girl described how, after becoming an artist, surgeon and best-selling author, she retired and “spent time painting and attending book club with her childhood friends.” Is there any better testament than that?

As for me, it’s always been about more than just great books. The books, and the book club talks, have become launchpads for continued conversations at home. I’ve found that it’s nice to know who Katniss is, but it’s even better to know Cornelia, Prue and Calpurnia, and why these characters made such an impression on my daughter.

The success of the book club also reminds me to be the kind of mother I want to be: the kind who follows her child’s lead and lets her child’s passions dictate how she spends extracurricular time. The kind of mother who happily handles the logistics and structure required to make things like book club happen, knowing that it always takes some legwork to support any kind of valuable experience. The kind of mother who, after all that active doing, is then able to sit back and just listen. The kind of mother who isn’t intimidated by letting the girls, and their conversations, unfold organically from there.

I will need these reminders for the teen years ahead. If the 5th grade chattering is any indication, we are nearing uncharted territory as the girls find increasingly complex books to fill their growing minds and insatiable appetites.

I don’t know what the coming years hold for my daughter and I, but I do believe that books will help us survive it. I’ve promised to be there, as long as she will have me, reading along beside her.

* * *

Updated on 8/19/14

Want inspiration and tips on starting a book club for your own child? I’ve got a couple posts to help you out…

The Club pt. 2 and Boys Allowed

* * *

Speaking of books and moms…I am thrilled to be giving away a copy of Moms are Nuts, a hilarious collection of essays about having a mom (not being a mom). It features an outstanding ensemble of writers, including Emmy winners, magazine editors, comedians, TV personalities, bestselling authors and social media superstars. Get ready to laugh and to give thanks that your own kids haven’t found a publisher for their stories. Yet.

To win a copy of the book, leave a comment (about books, your awesome mom, or whatever is on your mind) and I will pick a random commenter on Monday 5/5 at 5pm Central Time).

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Author Archive for ewm – Page 5

Boys Allowed

The Club pt. 2

Summer Snapshot pt. 1

Battle cry

Rubble

Dismantling

Yes!

A day in the life

Show Your Work: Possessions

The club

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